


Home Winter Blues

by clowchan



Series: In the Key of Barisi [13]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Christmas, M/M, Religion, sad stuff, semi-fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 17:23:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5548973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clowchan/pseuds/clowchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barba has a hard time dealing with Christmas this year</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home Winter Blues

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to try my hand at a more somber Barisi Christmas story. I used Ben Folds Five "Stumblin' Home Winter Blues" (where part of the title comes from), "Thank You For Breaking My Heart" and "On Being Frank" as inspiration so part of this is going to be depressing.

Rafael Barba didn't look forward to the Christmas season this year. The death of his abuelita really put a damper on his spirits. Every Christmas he would visit her, where they would sing songs, she would cook him his favourite meals, and she would tell him stories about Cuba and recount her life there when she was younger. The stories were what he most enjoyed. He's never been there, but every time she told it, he envisioned himself there. Not this year. He cursed himself for never recording her.

His mother went to Vegas with a group of bingo friends, so he had no family to go to. Then there was Sonny. Sonny didn't text him or call him to wish him a Merry Christmas. Even Rafael expected him to send some sort of message filled with Santa, reindeer, and present emojis and a message being too sickly sweet. _Nothing_.  How depressing. He didn't even want to get out of bed. He grabs a bottle of whiskey that was on his night stand. This was the only company he was going to have today.  


* * *

  
Sonny was planning on this Christmas surprise for a long while. He entered Rafael's apartment building with one of his sisters, Theresa.

She stares at how ornate the building looked. " _Damn_ , did you hit the lottery with this guy?"

"Shhhhhh, Theresa. I don't want to ruin this," Sonny puts a finger up to his lips. "Or wake up everyone here."

"Sorry, Son," she laughs quietly as they carried various sized items into the elevator.

Reaching Barba’s apartment, they enter as quietly as they could. Theresa accidentally drops a plastic ornament.

Sonny sighs before giving a disapproving look and whispering, "Ther..."

She whispers back, "An accident. Look at the amount we're carryin'. Give me a friggin’ break."

Sonny only shakes his head in response.

It took 30 minutes to set up lights, a small tree, a few ornaments, some snowflake and reindeer decorations, a couple stockings, and to lay out some presents under the tree.

He makes the OK sign, whispering, "Perfect."

"Is that all of it?"

"Yeah, I think so." Sonny double checks everything, "It's all there. Thanks, sis."

"No problem."

Sonny gets his wallet out, pulling out a $20 bill, "Here."

"Nah, keep it." Theresa politely shoves his hand away.

"You sure? I want-"

"Yes. Helpin' ya out, plus it's Christmas. I can be a nice sister sometimes."

"Sometimes," he teases as he air quotes the word. "But seriously, thanks. I'm gonna make it up to ya."

"Ok, fine, " she shakes her head, giving him a hug. “See you later."

"See ya," he smiles, hugging her back.  


* * *

  
Sonny enters into Rafael's room. The huge smile he was sporting soon turned to a frown. Was Rafael sobbing under his covers? He's never heard him cry or show an ounce of sadness like this before, especially like this.

"Rafi?"

"It's nothing," he quickly wipes his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

" _Nothing. Drop it_." Rafael discreetly hides the whiskey bottle under a cover.

"Ok, sorry." Sonny sits on the bed," Merry Christmas." He leans in to kiss him, but Rafael turns away. "Raf?" He looks down to see him hold a small old photo of a woman that Rafael stares at. "Who's that?"

" _Mi Abuelita_ ," Rafael whispers. He finally tells him, "This is my first year without her. I usually always went to her house to celebrate. She loved Christmas so much."

"I'm very sorry to hear that, Rafael," Sonny places a hand over his. "She sounded like a wonderful grandma."

"She was." Rafael still felt the guilt of trying to make her move out of her old home. Despite her cause of death being natural causes, he wondered if the stress of the potential move exasperated it.

"Want to pray for her?"

The sincerity in Sonny's voice caught Rafael way off guard. He was hesitant to answer, but he nods, "Yes, but silently."

Both men sit on the bed, doing the sign of the cross, and fold their hands in prayer. After a couple minutes of praying silently, they do another sign of the cross. Rafael looks up at Sonny, "Thank you for that."

"You're welcome," Sonny pats his shoulder. "I have a small surprise for you. I mean, if you're up for it."

"What did you do?" Rafael looked a touched worried before lending out a hand.

"It's a surprise," he laughs as he drags Rafael out of bed and to his living room.

Rafael couldn't believe that his living room was transformed into a small Christmas showcase. "You're too much."

"You know you love it," Sonny beams.

"I thought you would be with your family and honestly, I thought you forgot about me, detective," Rafael looks at him.

"You know I could never forget you, counsellour," Sonny holds him close. "Plus you're family too."

"Am I?" Rafael feels his cheeks get warm.

"Yeah and surprise number 2, you're invited to the Carisi Christmas dinner," Sonny kisses his temple.

" _Oh, God_ ," Rafael's eyes go wide.

"I mean, if you want to go, you're not obligated to joi-" Sonny said nervously.

"I didn't say 'no', Sonny," he smiles. "I was imagining how crowded the place will be."

"There's a lot of us Carisis," Sonny gently nudges his shoulder. "But we're a good bunch."

"I don't know about that," Rafael looks at him, cocking an eyebrow. "You did trespass into my home."

"So did my sister," he laughs.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that," Rafael teases before he enters into his bedroom to get dressed.

Soon after, both of them leave Rafael's apartment to stop by St. James and light a candle for Rafael's grandmother. Both of them silently pray for her again for a minute before they head towards Sonny's mother's house. This was brand new for Rafael, but he hoped this was a start of a brand new tradition.


End file.
